Botox Day 1

Waiting in the doctor's office to take my repeated stabbing, I was very nervous. Not because I thought it would hurt, but because I was worried it might not work. I chatted nervously with the lady who was prepping for my treatment. She reassured me several times that it would work.

When the injections began, both women (doctor and assistant) stood over me holding my head and the needles as I sat in a chair. Aside from the slight prick of the tiny needles, I felt fine. That is........until she got to the back of my head. As she put the needle in the bottom of my skull, I could hear and feel the liquid going in. I'm not sure why it affected me the way it did, but I started feeling nauseous. Suddenly, the two women who were helping me seemed to be looming over me. I felt hot, anxious, and trapped because I knew there were about a dozen injections to go. Luckily the women asked over and again if I was ok and noticed immediately that I was not. One grabbed a trash can and then they both helped me onto an exam table to lay down and level out my blood pressure. They finished the injections with me laying on the table which was somehow less intimidating. They were very supportive, telling me how well I was doing throughout the procedure and even fanning me when I was laying on the table.

I have had problems in the past with low blood pressure, which I imagine, played a larger role in my odd experience than any actual adverse reaction to the treatment. I enjoyed the rest of the day by getting a pedicure and doing some shopping. I was headache free all day which I would love to attribute to the Botox but I'm not supposed to see results for 1-2 weeks. Whether it was a placebo effect or the aftermath of my weird anxiety attack, I can't say. But either way - it has been wonderful! I do have some soreness and swelling but that is to be expected. I hope that tomorrow is half as good as today was!

Locked Inside My Head

I sometimes wonder how much of my personality is me and how much is a reaction to the ache. When I was a young girl reading "To Kill a Mockingbird," I loved loud music and screaming along at the top of my lungs. I was full of energy and loved being in crowds of people. I never would have imagined that I would come to identify with Mrs. Dubose. She was a loner who was mean and hateful to everyone because of her constant pain. I've learned to control the anger that comes with the headaches....mostly. What I don't know how to handle is my recent feeling of desperation. In one week, I will try botox. It is a neurotoxin supposed to kill the neurons responsible for reporting pain. I can only hope it will work. If not, at least my dog will be here to sneeze all over my face when I get sad. (Like he just did ) :)